Intro to Parts Work
You probably already think in “parts” without realizing it.
“A part of me really wants to go to the party... but another part just wants to stay home and hide.”
“Ugh, why do I always sabotage myself when I’m doing well?”
“I know they love me, but sometimes I feel so scared and small around them anyway.”
It might feel like you aren’t making any sense, but you are! You just have different aspects of your Self that care about different things.
Parts Work is simply a way of understanding those different sides of yourself. Not to get them to ‘obey’. But to stop struggling with them, and get curious about what they’re trying to do for you.
Because every part — even the messy, scared, controlling, self-sabotaging ones — exists to protect you and meet your needs.
Parts work isn’t about control. It’s about building real relationships with the different parts of you — so they can stop fighting each other, and start working together.
What ‘Parts’ Actually Are
You are not just one thing. You are made up of many different sides, layers, moods, instincts, memories, and desires.
Parts are fragments of your personality and experience — each carrying a specific goal, emotion, value, memory, or role.
Some parts exist because they needed to protect you. Some parts exist because they wanted to create, love, play, or dream. Some parts are fierce. Some are soft. Some parts seem to clash with each other — and that’s completely normal!
You might notice your parts when:
You feel torn between two choices
You act in a way that surprises you
You want something that seems to “contradict” another thing you want
You find yourself reacting more strongly than expected
Parts aren’t problems. They’re information. Each part holds a piece of your story, your needs, your gifts, your resourcefulness, your creativity…
Parts work isn’t about “fixing” yourself. It’s about learning to listen so your internal world can move from confusion and conflict to collaboration and trust.
How Parts Get Stuck
All of your parts were created for a good reason. They had a purpose — to help you survive, to protect your dreams, to keep you connected, to shield you from pain…
But sometimes, parts get stuck in old roles. They keep doing the job they used to need to do — even if your life has changed.
A few ways this happens:
🔹 Frozen in Time:
Some parts get frozen at the age or emotional stage when something overwhelming happened.
They still react with the emotions, logic, and coping skills of that younger self — even when you’re grown.
🔹 Outdated Operating Systems:
A part developed a strategy that worked back then — like people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-blame, shutting down.
But now that same strategy might block intimacy, success, authenticity, or rest.
🔹 All-or-Nothing Thinking:
When a part is scared or overwhelmed, it tends to see things in black-and-white:
“If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.”
“If I say what I need, everyone will leave.”
“If I let my guard down, I’ll get hurt again.”This all-or-nothing thinking can make parts react way bigger than the situation actually calls for.
Your stuck parts aren’t trying to create inner conflict... They get stuck because they’re loyal — still trying to protect you the only way they know how.
Common Types of Parts
Your parts aren’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’. You have a whole, complex internal community — each part carrying different instincts, needs, dreams, fears, and superpowers.
Here’s a glimpse of who might live inside you:
🧸 Inner Child
The playful, curious, sensitive, magical part of you.
Carries wonder, hope, imagination — and sometimes wounds that still need tending.
🌱 Inner Parent
The side of you that nurtures, protects, comforts, and disciplines with love.
This part grows stronger as you re-parent yourself and build self-trust.
🧙♂️ Wise Sage
Your deep inner knowing.
The part of you that sees the big picture and offers grounded wisdom, even in chaos.
🛡️ Protective Bestie
The ride-or-die part who steps in with fierce loyalty and boundaries.
May get a little spicy when sensing danger — but always has your back.
🩵 Wholesome Nurturer
The part who just wants everyone (including you) to feel cozy, safe, loved, and cared for.
The soup-maker. The cuddle-offerer. The soft landing.
🧹 Manager / Achiever / Provider
The organized, strategic, ambitious side.
Works hard to keep life moving, goals met, resources secured.
🍷 Hedonist / Pleasure Junkie / Impulsive Fun-Lover
The part that craves joy, freedom, novelty, and delicious experiences.
Reminds you that life isn’t just about surviving — it’s about living.
⚖️ Justice Warrior
The part that burns hot for fairness, dignity, autonomy, and protection of self/others.
Carries both righteous anger and powerful leadership energy.
🐉 Worrywart
The anxious protector who imagines worst-case scenarios to try to keep you prepared.
Sometimes overwhelming — but deeply motivated by love and safety.
👹 Monsters + Demons (Wounded Parts)
Parts that carry pain, rage, terror, shame, or grief.
They might show up as self-sabotage, impulsivity, rage, dissociation, or fear —
but underneath, they are simply parts that have been isolated and burdened for too long.
Your parts are unique because you are unique. All of your parts — even the ones that confuse you, scare you, or piss you off — carry pieces of your humanity, your history, and your potential.
Getting Parts to Cooperate ≠ Discipline
You don’t heal your parts by shaming them. You don’t “fix” them by forcing them to change. You don’t win by exiling the parts you don’t like.
You heal by building relationships inside yourself.
You give each part of yourself a seat at the table. You listen. You get curious. You earn their trust — slowly, like coaxing a feral animal closer, one gentle offering at a time.
When you force or fight your parts, they usually:
Dig in harder
Get louder
Go underground and sabotage you later
But when you listen — even when a part is being messy, loud, dramatic, anxious, avoidant, stubborn, or mean — you send the message: “You don’t have to scream to be heard. I’m here. I’m listening.”
That’s when parts start to soften. That’s when protective parts start to loosen their grip. That’s when wounded parts start to trust they won’t be abandoned again.
Healing your relationship with your parts = healing your relationship with yourself.
Every step toward internal collaboration makes your whole system stronger, freer, and more alive.
You don’t have to ‘fix’ your parts. You just have to show up for them.
Simple Ways to Start Working With Your Parts
You don’t need a therapy degree to start connecting with your parts. You don’t need to do it ‘just right’. You just need a little curiosity, patience, and compassion.
Here are some simple ways to begin:
🔹 Notice Shifts Inside You
Pay attention when you feel pulled in different directions — when you catch yourself thinking, “Part of me wants to… but another part is scared.”
🔹 Ask Gentle Questions
When you notice a strong reaction — fear, anger, shutdown, perfectionism, whatever — pause and ask:
“What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t act this way?”
“What are you trying to protect me from?”
“What do you need?”No judgment. Just curiosity.
🔹 Treat Them Like Real Beings
Imagine talking to your parts the way you’d talk to a scared kid, a stubborn dog, or a stressed-out best friend — with patience, respect, and tenderness.
You don’t have to agree with every part all the time. But you do have to be willing to listen.
🔹 Invite, Don’t Demand
Instead of forcing parts to “get over it” or “be better,” invite them to show you what they need to feel safer, stronger, more supported.
Sometimes just giving a part your attention is enough to start the healing process.
👉 Connect with a younger version of yourself in my Inner Child Healing guided meditation
💡 Pro Tip:
Parts work doesn’t have to be serious and clinical. It’s your inner world — you get to make it fun, weird, playful, and uniquely yours.
Give your parts nicknames…
Your anxious part might become Anxious Annie or Little Stormcloud.
Your rebellious part might be Baby Riot or Sir Fuckthisshit.
Your inner nurturer might be Nana.
Your inner child might have their own real name, like Sara or Leo.
You can name them after family members, animals, cartoon characters, cryptids, inside jokes.
The important thing isn’t “doing it right” —it’s building a relationship. Because the more seen and understood your parts feel, the less they’ll have to hijack your system just to get your attention.
Want more ways to understand yourself?
I’ve got a whole library of mind-body magic waiting for you✨